Dueling Bathtime

The other night I saw a window: Chris had Sam in the bath and Annabelle was asleep. I needed a few things, and Kroger is so close, so I left the house. I was gone for about 12 minutes.

I came back in and Chris, who was watching over a still bathing Sam, proudly announced that Annabelle was clean. I assumed he had changed a dirty diaper. Nope, he had bathed her. While Sam was bathing.

I was impressed. I had yet to accomplish much of anything with both of them at the same time.

Sam enjoyed it, and now likes to help bathe the little lady. Sometimes he still likes to take baths at the same time, but sometimes he "needs more space."

One Month

The other day I opened a credit card statement that ran from February 21-March 20. It was like "The Tail of Two Lives." The first half included charges like the tip for a pedicure and lunch out (by myself, while Sam was at school), while the last half was full of charges at children's clothing stores. There was even a 5 day span where nothing was charged to the card. Considering I charge $0.85 at the post office (I like the points!), this is a remarkable feat.

It has been awhile since I've updated you on our latest addition. Turns out that caring for two small children is quite time-consuming. I have yet to figure out the appropriate balance with which to establish our new normal. Do I get all of the "things" done, or do I spend time with my kids. If I pick the latter, how do I balance which kid I spend more time with? These are my real struggles this time around - very different from my struggles when I brought Sam home. This time, nursing does not intimidate me, nor do her cries, but feeling like my first is neglected in the business does.

So how is Lady A doing? Quite well! While not really a newborn anymore, she still sleeps a good portion of the day. If she's not asleep she really does prefer to be held, so we've experimented some with the Moby wrap. We even used it for our first successful trip to the park, just the three of us! She has started to accept the paci, which can buy me a few minutes when I just can't pick her up, but she doesn't hold onto it well quite yet. She likes to be swaddled because she still just can't figure out what to do with those arms! She successfully took her first bottle the other night, which means there is potential for me to leave the house for longer than an hour and half!

She seems so much bigger to us! I can't tell you a weight (we had to reschedule her weight check to coincide with the OB check-up that was rescheduled for me), but she has grown. She is now in size 1 diapers and 0-3 month clothes. Her bows are still too big for her tiny head, but we put one one every day anyhow. A girl should always wear a bow.

And the number one question that is always asked of a new mom: How is she sleeping at night? Right now the answer is really well! I hate to say that, because it is so early and she will certainly regress when she goes through growth spurts, but she is sleeping well at night. Last night I slept for 5 hours, fed her and then slept another 3 hours. Praise the Lord! She has managed to put herself on a "eat every 3 hour" daytime schedule (sometimes I wake her up if she's gone longer), and they say that is the key to nighttime sleep. I had to put Sam on that daytime schedule, which involved a lot of crying, so I am thankful that Little Lady has figured that one out on her own.

Ok, so that brings us to our very first list for Annabelle. At one month...
Likes:
-Being Swaddled
-Being Held
-Daddy's special bouncing technique.
-Warm baths with a full tummy.

Dislikes:
-Burping
-When her bow falls in her eyes
-Being left in the car seat when not in the car or stroller

Newborn Photos

We had professional newborn pictures taken on March 9 when Annabelle was about 10 days old. Here is a link to the mini slideshow the photographer put together. Enjoy!

The Protector

So far I could not be more pleased with Sam's adjustment to life with Annabelle. He loves her when interested, and ignores her when he's too busy to be bothered. Really, that works well for all concerned. Only once has he told me that he didn't want me to feed her but to take him outside instead. Hopefully this positive trend continues when the three of us are on our own next week!

Regardless of what he's up to, he always wants people to know that she is HIS baby sister. And whether he realizes it or not, he is always protecting her.

Last Sunday the four of us went to church together for the first time. We had Little Lady in her car seat all covered up by a draped blanket to protect her from the world. (Note: this arrangement has become recognizable as the sign for "I am new. Please don't touch or breath on me. Except if you're an old women - they don't seem to get it.) Well, we did lift her "shield" for a few minutes to show her off to a few friends, and in doing so we set her, in the seat, down on the ground. Sam plopped himself down next to her, continually rearranging her blanket, lifting the strap adjuster off the ground, and generally staying as close and he could to her. It took us a minute to realize, but Chris and I eventually figured out that he had taken this position to stay between her and everyone else. He didn't leave her side until her "shield" was lowered.

I can't wait to see how this plays out when they are teenagers!

Due Date

March 14th. Today was the date that was glued into my brain for 8.5 months. Today was my due date. Funny how a date that held so much meaning - excitement, pressure, anticipation, anxiety - can quickly become so meaningless! How long does it take to forget your due date? I still do a double take when May 6 pops up on the calendar, but since Sam was 6 days early that date is meaningless, too.

Instead of today being the day, it is Annabelle's 2 week birthday! Has it been that long already? Is she so un-new already? If you looked at Sam, you'd think she's been around forever. In his eyes she slid right into the family. Of course it would be a lot easier to see it that way if you weren't up with her from 2-4am, but I am so very thankful that he sees it that way. I guess in a way I feel that way, too - she certainly slid in easier than Sam did! But life isn't normal yet. My mom just went home on Saturday and Chris is taking a few days off this week to provide back-up while Sam is on Spring Break.

But Sam and I did a big Kroger run and I've been to the gym twice now, we went to church and I cooked a meal. These are good things, moving us back in the direction of a new normal. Check back in with me next week to see how many of those things I've accomplished once I have no daytime help at all!

As for the Little Lady, what's she up to on her 2-week birthday? Mostly newborn stuff. Eating, sleeping and dirtying her diapers. She is pretty good about eating every 2.5-3 hours during the day, but night seem to be a bit less consistent and seem to hold her more alert periods. We'll have to see what we can do about that! We now know that she prefers to be as much under water as possible during her baths and is too confused by the pacifier to effectively introduce it quite yet. She likes to be swaddled because her hands and arms still confuse her. If she isn't swaddled and is the slightest bit awake, she'd like you to hold her hands. Sam is good at this job. She hates being placed into the car seat, but tolerates it well once she is given the chance to fall asleep in it. She is still in newborn clothes and diapers, both of which Sam was out of by two weeks.

And she is still precious to look at and hold - even at 3am.

One Week

Annabelle is officially one week old today. Is it weird that I am sad about that? With each passing day she is just a little bit less of a newborn. Part of me wants the newness to never wear off. Of course, another part can't wait to watch her grow and explore her world, just like Sam is now. And there is a tiny part that wants her to sleep through the night, but even that isn't so bad.

In sharp contrast to her brother, the little lady has already been on two outings! Yesterday, while Sam was at preschool, we took her on her first shopping trip! She is now the proud owner of a few super cute outfits that will be perfect for our beach trip in July. And this morning she joined us at bible study. I received several comments from people who couldn't believe I made it there, but in all truth it was easier this week than it will be in weeks to come. See, this morning while I finished nursing, my mom packed my diaper bag, loaded Sam in the car, etc. We also enjoyed our first afternoon walk to get "special drinks" - Sam in the stroller and Annabelle in the wrap. Success!

The major milestone of week one is the loss of the umbilical cord stump. That happened on Monday, which was day 5. This is a good thing, because petite miss does not enjoy being cold. Sponge baths were not a happy time in her life. The adorable hat made her feel better afterward.


At her check-up on Monday the doctor thought she was the slightest bit yellow, so she enjoyed a bit of sunbathing as well.

We've had fun introducing her to a few friends who have dropped by and in continuing to learn more about her quarks and tiny personality. For example, she is bad at burping but needs to because she is quite the spitter. And when she needs to burp she goes back and forth between trying to snack and squirming all over the place.

Let's see what week two brings!

Siblings

So, what does Sam think of everything that's happened over the last few days? Hard to say, exactly, but all in all he is handling it really well! He was well cared-for and behaved while Mommy and Daddy were at the hospital, but has had a few more cranky moments since we got home. He seems to be coping with the change by clinging to Chris, and I think that will actually work out to be ok.

He LOVED coming to visit at the hospital. Betty brought him up on Wednesday night to meet her (I'm not entirely sure which of the two was more insistent that the trip happen that night!) and he did great. A few weeks ago he found a toy phone at Target and insisted that the baby would need it. So we wrapped it up and he brought it with him to give to her at the hospital. He wanted her to have it right away! He was pretty excited about the gift - a toy camera - that she brought for him, too. He was excited to see her, for sure, but was also very excited by everything there was to see and explore in the hospital room.

Daddy picked him up from school on Thursday and the boys came up to the hospital with flowers and a balloon. This time, in between running down the hall to get ice chips, a spoon with which to eat the ice chips, swinging on the toilet support bars in the bathroom, talking on the bed "phones," climbing in and out of the rocking chair and exploring the blood pressure cuff, he was even more interested in his baby. He asked to hold her without any encouragement. He supported her head, just like his Big Brother storybook told him to do. He was back and forth frequently between holding her and exploring, but he did keep coming back to her. And then he announced, "I love my baby sister!"

The next day he chose to come back to the hospital instead of going to the park with Gammi! It was a lot more of the same, but this time on the way to get ice chips he declared, "My baby sister is pretty."

He's done really well since she's been home, too. The day we came home he told me that he was going to share his beloved Woofster with her. He asks to hold her a lot, and is generally interested in everything that she's doing. He keeps finding stuffed animals that he brings to her to help her feel better, especially if she starts to cry.

I pray that all of this loving continues when our extra help goes home! For now I am just thankful that we are off to such a great start.

You Should See The Other Guy!

We had a dramatic afternoon yesterday. The reality of having two children is upon us! It all started very innocently - the crew had just returned from depositing Papa at the airport and we were enjoying some outside playtime in the beautiful weather. Gammi was pushing Sam in the swing, really high, because that's the way an almost-three-year-0ld likes it. The three adults commented that we needed to get new rope soon, as the top was starting to show some wear.

A few minutes later the rope snapped - ironically, not in the spot we were looking, but in a totally random spot. Sam, still strapped into the swing, went flying and landed face down on the driveway. It was an absolutely horrific thing to watch. I know this, because a neighbor passing on the sidewalk immediately offered to call 911.

Long story short, we held off and got the situation under control. Daddy was a rock star and got the boy calmed down, which was no easy accomplishment. Looking back, I think the terror was worse than the pain. His pain level was low with ibuprofin in his system, he was able to eat and showed no signs of concussion.

By the Lord's good grace, we had a rather unnecessary check-up scheduled for Annabelle this morning. We took Sam with us and were able to get reassurance that he is OK. A 5% chance that his cheek is broken, but there's nothing to do about it anyways so there is no point in a x-ray.

I think it will be awhile before we get him back in a swing again. He made Gammi put it away in the shed - he was insistant that it was out of sight. He told us that, "Sometimes swings break" and he has admitted that it was really scary. But that bucket swing actually saved him - we're pretty sure the top of the seat hit the ground first, protecting him from a more serious head injury.

He looks pretty awesome, though. Good thing we have newborn pictures scheduled for Friday...We'll have to get mostly profiles for the sibling shots.

The Growing Belly Grows No More

Just for the sake of documentation, here are the belly pictures that Chris and I just happened to take the night before Annabelle was born. We never got pictures this close to delivery with Sam, so I have no comparison with you. I will say, though, that I am happy to be on the deflation side of things now! I felt absolutely massive, which is sad now that I know what a tiny passenger I had on board.

Annabelle's Birth Story

This is much more detail than most of you will be interested in, but I want to remember. If you want the reader's digest version, it goes like this: My water spontaneously ruptured but didn't kick start labor. They started me on Pitocin at the hospital and things progressed quickly to an unmedicated birth. Here is the detailed version:

I awoke at 5:30 in the morning to an unfamiliar yet unmistakable sensation. After taking a second for my sleeping brain to process it, I ran to the bathroom. A few minutes later I hear Chris ask from the bed, "so did your water break?" "Yup!"

And just like that we were up. Funny how I seemed to have so much energy at that hour, when on any other day I'd be dragging to get out of bed. Adrenalin much? My heart was racing and it was all very surreal. I knew the rules - 24 hours after your water breaks, that baby must be out! We were going to have a baby today.

But what makes it weird is that I wasn't in labor. I felt great! Which was actually a little disappointing. I'd hoped to be able to get through most of my labor at home, as its just so much easier to get comfortable without wires and monitors all over the place. So there was a part of me that was, when I called the doctor, hoping to be told that I could stay home for awhile, that I didn't need to rush right in. That is not what I was told. I could take a shower, but wasn't allowed to go out for breakfast or anything like that, before I came in. So we called Aunt Betty, got ourselves packed up and cleaned up. All without a single contraction, all in this very weird state of knowing with certaintly that our child is coming today.

Sam woke up a little after 6, he always wakes early if he hears us moving around. He was a bit grumpy because he wasn't really ready to get up, which made me sad. I wanted to get a little loving in before we left. Its like he knew - he was unusually clingy to us. Until Betty arrived, and then he got excited. They got down to playing and he told us to, "have fun at the hospital Mommy and Daddy!" We had talked enough that he knew exactly what it meant that Aunt Betty was there. We gave him long hugs and big kisses and left the two of them sitting in the Thomas tent around 7am.

After quick stops at Walgreen's and McDonald's (we did drive through, so I didn't technically disobey the doctor, and I knew it was my last chance at food until I made it to the postpartum unit...I am so glad we made that stop!) we walked into Labor and Delivery shortly after 7:30. We were asked a few questions and escorted to a room under outpatient observation for "possible water leakage." I tried to explain that there was no "possible" going on here. This was the full blown thing. They didn't seem to get it. So we met bubbly nurse Lindsey whose magic pH strip confirmed a few minutes later that yes, we'd be staying to have ourselves a Leap Year Baby.

Still no contractions. So we take our time with all the admissions questions, consent forms, etc. Nurse Lindsey asked if I remembered all this stuff from last time, and I insisted that we didn't do most of it. She was confused, so we took the opportunity to relay Sam's Birth Story to her. I was then flagged as a "fast laborer" and everyone was to be on notice once things got moving. I agreed to let Nursing Student attempt my IV, being assured that she'd done it before. By the time she left the room, Chris was rather adiment that the only IVs she'd ever placed before were on other nursing students. But Nurse Lindsey fixed it and then did my blood draw herself.

I had a few contractions that the monitor picked up but I didn't feel. With one of them baby's heart rate dropped so I was confined to the bed for 30 minutes. After that they finally checked me - 3cm and 60%. At my appointment the morning before I was 2cm and 50%. Not much progress. Dr. Fogiel came by when she was done with surgery and we chatted a bit. I was allowed to do 2 stints of 10 minute walks, with 10 minutes on the monitor in between. I was called out by everyone on the floor as being a speed walker. Guess that's what happens when you hang out in L&D without actually being in labor. Then it was back to bed. Back in the room Nurse Lindsey gave us some instruction on how to try to get things to move along, and it seemed to work at first, but baby's heart rate didn't like it much so then I had to lie on my side.

Meanwhile, Chris and I are chatting, playing Words with Friends, discussing the implications that a February 29th birthday will have for our child, and trying to narrow down our list of Boy names. Chris even tried to get a little work done. Like I said, not much progress was being made. So when Nurse Lindsey left at noon (her 7 year old was cast as The Big Bad Wolf in his school's afternoon performance), Nurse Jennifer decided that I looked far too pleasant. Nurse Lindsay (yes, another one! I think she was a new hire, Jennifer seemed to be showing her the ropes but she was clearly not new to being an RN) agreed. So they confirmed with Dr. Fogiel via phone and I was started on the slowest possible Pitocin drip possible. Half and hour later and still no action. They upped the dosage ever so slightly. I began to have more contractions that hurt, although there was still no regular pattern to them. Chris seemed to notice a change in my response to them, though, and packed his things away. He began to lightly rub my upper back and it felt so nice - it really helped me relax during contractions. Points for him, because I didn't even know to ask him to do that.

I need to mention the wires. I hate the wires. This is why I wanted to stay home. At this point I was sitting on the exercise ball - we'd brought it with us because it was my saving grace during Sam's labor. Well you know they make you wear a fetal heart rate monitor, and contraction monitor, and I know had two IV lines (Pitocin and fluid). Those stupid monitors hate me - they stayed on so poorly with Sam that they actually gave up on them - the nurses kept coming in to move them because they kept losing the baby's heart beat. It frustrated me because I felt like I shouldn't move for fear of disturbing the stupid monitors. I would like to see them develop something that actually sticks to my body if this type of surveillance is truly necessary. And of course the cords got tangled in everything (Clearly they need to adopt wireless technology). Very, very annoying all around.

So Chris is with me now. At 1pm they upped the Pitocin one more time. This is the last time reference you'll get because I stopped paying attention to the world around me at this point. The contractions were regular and painful enough for me to finally believe that things were actually going to happen today. I hung out on the exercise ball a while longer, with Chris on the stool behind me, and that served me well for a while. I started to actually use some of those breathing techniques they teach you in childbirth class - I never really used them much with Sam. I probably should have. I will note, however, that these contractions didn't feel like I remembered. Not more or less, just different. A few different positions with the ball and the breathing served me well for a bit, and then I needed to try something different. Unfortunately we had reached the point where nothing seemed right. I stood, leaning on Chris for a bit, then tried to get back in bed to see how that went.

The nurses came back in and I asked when I was allowed to know if I'd made progress or not. Truthfully, I wanted to make a call on pain meds. If I was still at 3 or 4cm I was going to call it - epidural and crank the Pitocin. They obliged and I was found to be 5-6 cm. Hmm...right in the middle. I couldn't make up my mind if I should keep going or call in the drug man. He was so good to me last time, but I wanted to know what this whole birth thing really felt like. As I was pondering this in bed, I began to notice that the breathing wasn't working so well anymore. I added a bit a vocalization to the mix and that worked surprisingly well. I also began to notice that the nurses didn't leave this time. Trays were being prepped, gloves laid out, warmer turned on, etc. It took me a bit to realize that this was encouraging news, that it meant they thought my delivery was imminent.

By the time I clued in, I began to accept my pain level a little more and think that I could probably get through this without the drugs. The contractions, by this point, were awful. With the beginning of each wave I would get a pit of dread in my stomach just know what was coming. I'd pant and moan through it, but then be relatively ok between them. I just wished the "between them" was lasting a little longer. And then I started to worry I'd made the wrong choice on the drugs - I was getting tired fast. And this was hurting more.

Then, between two contractions, I admitted to Chris that I'd figured out that if I pushed just ever so slightly during the worst part that it really felt better. I didn't want to tell the nurses because I felt like I was breaking the rules by pushing before I was all the way dilated. He made me tell the nurses. They checked me again - 9cm. Nurse Lindsay hit a button on the side of the bed and told the voice that responded to "Page Dr. Fogiel for a delivery!" The end was in sight. I knew, because I had asked at an appointment, that it takes 7 minutes to get from her office to the delivery room. The nurses seemed fine with my little baby pushes, so we kept going with that. I remember trying to convey a thought that is so clear in my head now: "It is taking all the energy I have to manage the pain with these contractions, I do not think I have the strength to push this child out!" But I couldn't get that out coherantly and no one in the room understood me. That frustrated me more than it should have.

Chris, who could probably tell I was losing it, and being the engineer that he is, told me that "You said it takes her 7 minutes to get here. You've had 4 contractions, two minutes apart since they paged her, so she'll be here any time." So logical, that one. Shortly there after, as I was getting louder, she finally walked in and I could tell that she had hurried. She was telling us that the elevator literally stopped on every floor (she is on the 8th in her building) on the way over. Within a few minutes (Chris says it was more like seconds, so it must have just felt like minutes) she was telling me to start pushing.

I'm very glad that it is now illegal to record these things (for liability reasons). I have no desire to ever see myself and my lack of composure over the next several minutes. Lets just say that getting that head out was far more intense than I anticipated. I was told after my first attempt that screaming - yes I screamed through my first pushing contraction - was very unproductive and that I really couldn't do it again. She told me what I needed to do, and it just sounded impossible. But I tried on the next one and was given much more positive reenforcement for my efforts. I remember saying "I can't do this!" and thinking that this pain would last forever because there was no way I could "push through it." But I think I did it again. Then I remember Dr. Fogiel telling me to to cough really hard and I just thought that was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. Finally I did it and I heard that the head was out. I thought I was done. Did you know that the shoulders are pretty much as bad as the head? I should have, because I was told that it was Sam's shoulders and not his head that caused more trouble the first time. At least they were a bit quicker than the head. And then I heard one of the nurses say, "he's out!" and I got mad. I didn't want the nurse to announce the gender! But as they moved baby onto my stomach I got a good clear shot - that was no boy! She was crying as they cleaned her up, and I was happy to tell them with certainty when they asked that her name is Annabelle. We never did get around to picking that boy name. Nurse Lindsay called time of birth at 15:04 and I was slightly proud to be able to figure out right there that she was born at 3:04 - less than 3 hours after the first drop of Pitocin hit my IV and 2 hours after any type of patterned labor began.

I wanted to actually hold her, but I couldn't. In fact, when they asked me to lift her so they could put a fresh towel under her I had to tell them that I couldn't. My body was DONE. We knew right away that she was tiny, noticably smaller than Sam was. Chris grabbed the camera and started taking pictures - her earliest picture comes a few minutes later in life than Sam's, as I needed Chris with me and not manning the camera while she was on her way out. But I sent him over with her to the warmer while they checked her out. My head was spinning. I couldn't believe that we had a daughter, I couldn't believe she was here, I couldn't believe how much everything still hurt. I couldn't believe that people wouldn't stop touching me, despite my protests, especially the nurse who came in at the last minute to assist Dr. Fogiel - she clearly is accustomed to dealing with women who are numb and didn't seem to have a gentle bone in her body. I do not like her.

After a few minutes to calm down, I wanted Annabelle back. I knew immediately she was beautiful, but I was claiming that she didn't look like Sam. Of course now I realize just how much she looks like Newborn Sam. It took only a few minutes to get her latched on and we successfully nursed for the first time. Although I still felt really awful, it was a wonderful sensation. Slowly, people started to leave, and then it was just the three of us for about 20 minutes. We kissed her and loved on her until it was time for Chris and Nurse Lindsay to take her to the nursery for her full check-up. I got my first pain meds and we hung around L&D for another hour before we swung past the nursery to peek at her and I was deposited in my postpartum room.

All in all I just can't believe how different my two childbirth experiences were. Nothing about how things began or progressed was the same. But more than that, my mental and emotional state was completely different this time around. Being aware of what was to come served as a detriment in the beginning, causing me a bit of anxiety. But knowing what was, and still is, coming helped me from the second she was born. I was attached faster, she felt like my child immediately. I have confidence in my ability to care for her, but also my ability to love her. I am enjoying her snuggles more and stressing about my lack of sleep less. I miss her when she is in the nursery. She is mine, and she's coming home today!

A Few Photos...